HELP, THE HELPDESK (8 january 2005)
One of my nephews is a true computer expert ( click).
A few years ago, when I got an ADSL connection, he turned an antique computer into a so-called server. This server enabled the whole family to share a fast Internet connection.
But technology keeps progressing, so these days an Internet server can be replaced by a small box, not much bigger than a cigarette pack.
So I went to the shop, where they sold me such a box: a router made by a firm called Sitecom.
That I'm not really a hardware wizard became clear again when after two hours of hard work, the router still gave me no connection with the Internet. So I decided to call the Sitecom Helpdesk - a decision I was to regret thoroughly.
"Hello, Pascal here."
"Hello, I bough a Sitecom Internet router, but I can't get it working."
"What type and version?"
"On the box I read the number 202."
"That's the type, but I need the version."
"Where can I find that?"
"Next to the bar code."
"Let's see - ah, there's the bar code. It says 8716502002856."
"No, that's not the type. Look at the bar code."
"Sorry, but that's all I can find under the bar code."
"No, it's next to the bar code."
(Later, I examined the whole box carefully. Believe me: the type number is defintely not on the box.")
"Could it be 00CF6-0D6421?"
"No."
"And what about 5HO4A07326?"
"No."
"Could it be on the router itself?"
"Yes, it's also there."
"Wait, I'll have a look ... ah, there it is .. V5."
"That's it."
(long silence)
"Are you still there?"
"Yes - why do you ask?"
"Aren't we supposed to go on?"
"Yes"
(long silence)
"What are we going to do now?"
"Turn off everything."
"OK ..... All is turned off now."
(long silence)
"What should I do now?"
"Is everything turned off?"
"Yes, I switched everything off."
"The pc as well?"
"Yes, I switched that off too."
(long silence)
Should I turn everything on again?
"No."
(long silence)
"But what should I do then?"
"Turn on the router."
"All right, it's on."
(long silence)
"can I turn on the modem or the pc?"
"No."
Well, I won't tell the whole story - it would bore you to death. Most of it would consist of silences on the part of this Pascal, who made the impression to suffer from a severe form of autism.
The things he made me do had taken me three minutes when I did them on my own. Now, all the things I had done before took me about three quarters of an hour. And it still didn't work.
Finally, our autistic Pascal told me something like:
"Please restore the settings you had before."
Then I decided I'd had enough of our Pascal. It had taken me 25 cents a minute to get no help at all from this moron.
I called my nephew, who was friendly enough to help me. He managed to get everything right in a few minutes.
So now the connection is in order and I can put this story for you on the Internet. I agree it's a long one. But you can feel lucky I didn't write down the whole conversation.
