A REMARKABLE WELSHMAN (26 april 2004)
It must have been around 1971 that I visited North Wales. We had taken the train to a village called Blaenau Ffestiniog, mainly because we were told that's where the mountains were and because the name sounded quite special to my ears.
The local hotel had no room to accommodate us, but we were told bed and breakfast was a good alternative.
That's how I got into the house of John Erfyl Jones. The name John Jones is not very rare in Wales. On the Internet you'll find hundreds of Welshmen by that name.
But this John Jones may have been a typical Welsman. He was by no means an average Welshman. I will never forget the hospitality with which he and his wife Lily received us in their home.
Never in my life have I been welcomed with so much warmth. We were taken in the family car to see the sights. And we could borrow a beautiful, albeit rather antiquated, camera to take photos with.
John visited the pub with us, where we heard some beautiful authentic Welsh songs sung.
At last two jokes John told us - although I can't tell them the way that he did:
John and Mary, a newly married couple, went for
a walk in the Welsh countryside. Mary was in the family way.
After
they had walked for half an hour or so, Mary told John: "I feel something
in my belly". But John thought she was overdoing it. After a while, it
became worse. But still John did not think much of it.
But at a certain
moment, Mary could not stand it any longer and she sat down for a while behind
one of those walls that are common in the Welsh countryside. But Mary stayed
away and away. After half an hour or so John got really worried. He called
to Mary: "Are you alright?"
"No, " she answered
in tears: "John I'm afraid I've had a miscarriage."
So John
went to take a look.
"A miscarriage? No, Mary," he said:
"You just shat on a frog."
In the classroom, in the year 1938,
little Mary was crying her eyes out.
Her teacher asked her what was
the matter.
"It's Johnny," she sobbed.
"What did Johnny do?"
the teacher asked.
"He wrote a dirty word on my slate."
"That's
very bad indeed, I agree. But you can wipe it out, can't you?"
after which Mary shouted:
"YES BUT HE DID IT WITH A FUCKING STONE!"
